


Love, Dex

by cantfuckinbelievethis



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Love Simon AU, M/M, Panic Attack Mention, SECRETLY, dex LOVES tegan and sara, forced coming out tw, highly recommend the book btw, idk - Freeform, mild violence, mix of love simon movie and book, simon vs the homo sapian agenda au, slurs tw, they're all the same age in this one, touch of both in there, yeah im really changing derek's last name for the point of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 03:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantfuckinbelievethis/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: Dear Nursey,I’m just like you. For the most part, my life is normal. I have a family who are pretty ignorant sometimes, but I love them. I have friends who are possibly some of the best people in the world — we do everything normal kids do: get drunk at kegsters, drink a LOT of coffee, support each other in our extra curriculars, eat lots of pie…So, yeah, I’m just like you…sort of… I also have one huge ass secret, only I’m not pan like you. Nobody knows it, but I’m gay. I don’t know why I haven’t told anyone seeing as we go to the most progressive school in the city, probably, but I’m thinking you know a little something about that.- Dex(Love, Simon AU)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...yeah...I'm doing this 
> 
> Tumblr: cantfuckinbelievethis
> 
> Disclaimer that none of the characters belong to me, they're all created and owned by the amazing, Ngozi Ukazu!

Will was sitting with Shitty and Lardo when the post first came up on the school’s Tumblr. _samwellsecrets_ was essentially a place where people could submit their secrets and admit them to the world, all the while staying anonymous. It was pretty tempting, honestly — being able to let go of a secret with there being little to no repercussions. They were all at Will’s place, Shitty and Lardo flirting like crazy and beginning to piss Will off, when Shitty suddenly sat up straight.   
  
    ‘Bruh, someone came out on samwellsecrets,’ Shitty said excitedly, staring down at his phone.   
  
    Lardo scoffed. ‘Amazing they didn’t come out to you first.’ Leaning over, she checked out the post and grinned. ‘I wonder who it is. Check it out, Will!’   
  
    Will immediately looked at samwellsecrets on his laptop, wanting to see the post himself. He blinked a few times, staring at it with the accompanying picture of a ferris wheel. ‘There’s an email attached.’   
  
    ‘Could always email them and ask who they are?’ Lardo suggested.   
  
    ‘Nah, Lards, this person wants to stay in the closet, obvi.’   
  
    ‘Don’t ever say “obvi” in my presence again,’ Lardo responded, going back to sketching Shitty.   
  
    While they continued with their flirting, Will gazed down at the post in awe. People in his school were out — Bitty and Jack, for example. Bitty only got a little bit of shit, but Jack, Holster, and Ransom immediately put a stop to that. No one really gave Jack much shit after Holster tackled a dude at football practice who yelled a slur at Jack, who was watching from the sidelines with everyone else. Still, even though Samwell was remarkably inclusive and respectful a majority of the time, people didn’t feel like coming out for whatever reason.   
  
    Will, for instance, still hasn’t come out. Despite being friends with freaking _Shitty_ , he just didn’t feel ready for everyone to see him differently. His family would probably be awkward at the most, so that wasn’t exactly something he was worrying over every day. Still, he didn’t want to come out yet, but this post made him feel something. It was nice…something he could relate to.   
  
     **dmnursey@gmail.com**   
  
     _For a young person today, my life is indescribably normal. I like to think I’m a pretty likeable guy — well, there’s one person that doesn’t like me, but…not the point. Despite having friends, getting good grades, and having a pretty liberal family, a lot of the time I feel like a rollercoaster — one moment I’m up, the next I’m down._  
 _So, although no one will know it’s me anyway, it’s nice to tell people…I have a huge secret…_  
 _I’m pansexual. It’s nice to get off my chest, even on anon._  
 _Thanks for that, internet._  
 _\- Nursey_   
  
    Taking a deep breath, and sticking in his earphones to block out Shitty and Lardo for a bit, he created a fake email account and decided to email this Nursey back. Blasting Tegan and Sara, honestly his guilty pleasure, he started typing.   
  
     **from: littlebitcloser@gmail.com**  
 **to: dmnursey@gmail.com**  
 **subject: you’re relatable, honestly**   
  
   _Dear Nursey,_  
  
 _I’m just like you. For the most part, my life is normal. I have a family who are pretty ignorant sometimes, but I love them. I have friends who are possibly some of the best people in the world — we do everything normal kids do: get drunk at kegsters, drink a LOT of coffee, support each other in our extra curriculars, eat lots of pie…_  
  
 _So, yeah, I’m just like you…sort of… I also have one huge ass secret, only I’m not pan like you. Nobody knows it, but I’m gay. I don’t know why I haven’t told anyone seeing as we go to the most progressive school in the city, probably, but I’m thinking you know a little something about that._  
  
 _\- Dex_  
  
    Gulping, he shut his laptop and pulled out his earphones, trying to focus on Shitty and Lardo. It was done. It was sent. Now he could only hope it wouldn’t bite him in the ass. Maybe he used a name that was too close to his name, but he hoped they just wouldn’t catch on. Or maybe he hoped Nursey would…and they could meet up…maybe hang out…maybe make out. God, Lardo was right — Will was fucking thirsty as hell. Only time could tell what would happen next, he supposed. 

* * *

It took a few months, but Will was hopelessly in love.   
  
    Maybe it was a bit early, a bit soon, maybe he was too young, but it was entirely true. He loved Nursey. The other guy was just so…poetic, but not in an annoying way like _some_ people. He was funny, cute, and always, always said the right thing. The only person who knew about him was Bitty, but he swore to keep it quiet, even from Jack.   
  
    ‘Maybe it’s Adam,’ Bitty whispered as he eyed Adam from across their table. ‘Oh, y’all would be so adorable together.’   
  
    ‘I don’t think it’s Adam,’ Will whispered back. ‘He’s too obsessed with Justin to have time to email me, anyway.’   
  
    ‘Yeah…do you believe their mutual obsession is as entirely platonic as they claim?’ Bitty laughed under his breath.   
  
    Bitty had a surprising streak to him in that he _loved_ gossip. Not mean gossip, but he loved talking about other people and making guesses about them, which was probably why he really cared about figuring out who Nursey was.   
  
    Will glanced up at Adam and Justin, watching as Justin laughed at something Adam said and wiped a bit of mashed potatoes off Adam’s chin where it had somehow gotten. Laughing a little too, he shook his head. ‘No way.’   
  
    ‘What are you two whispering about?’ Derek asked as he and Chris sat down at the table.   
  
    ‘None of your business,’ Will shot back, immediately irritated.   
  
    Derek was…well, in all honesty, Derek was first and foremost _hot as fuck_. But, secondly, he was a massive dickhead. Well, okay, not _really_ , but he was annoying and had this superficial surface that Will just couldn’t stand.   
  
    ‘Chill, Poindexter,’ Derek responded, eyebrows arching.   
  
    ‘Oh, fuck you,’ Will mumbled under his breath, looking down at his food as they started up a new conversation.   
  
    When he glanced up, he saw Carl from another class looking over at him. Carl gave him a nod and a smile before looking back at his food. Carl was cute, and Will was like 80% sure he was Nursey. For one, Carl’s mother was the school nurse. Another reason was the ferris wheel — Carl had once told Will that he loved the ferris wheel when it got put up for the winter carnival; it was the only ride he didn’t get sick on. The final straw was the Oreos. He had them every day for lunch, which Will knew Nursey did. Sure, a lot of people did since they were the only nice option in the cafeteria for a snack, but it was everything else put together that really convinced him.   
  
    The remaining 20% was just his own fear of being wrong.   
  
    He was getting desperate enough to finally meet Nursey in person, though, that he was almost willing to take the risk. He just had to ask a few more questions to be sure. He knew Carl got his best grades in English, he knew that Carl was friends with Kent Parson before he moved away, and he knew that Carl played ice hockey as a kid. He just had to find out that Nursey did too and that would sell it for him.   
  
    ‘What are you looking at?’ Derek frowned, turning around.   
  
    Will kicked Derek in the shin, pulling his attention back to him. ‘ _Nothing_! Fuck Derek, ever heard of staying in your fuckin’ lane?’   
  
    ‘ _Chill_ ,’ Derek repeated for the fiftieth time that day, and Will almost let out a frustrated groan, but held it in as C stared at him with pleading eyes.   
  
    Will decided to just ignore Derek for the rest of lunch until he could get away from him. It sucked that they shared friends, but he had to put up with him if he wanted to hang out with his friends.   
  


* * *

  
**from: littlebitcloser@gmail.com**  
 **to: dmnursey@gmail.com**  
 **subject: “chill” is not a real emotion**   
  
     _Nursey,_  
  
 _Have you ever met someone who annoys the shit outta you, but you also feel kinda bad that they do? Not to share too many details, since we wanna be anonymous, but there’s this guy in my friend group, and he’s so annoying._  
  
 _Come to think of it, he’s super into poetry like you, but he’s also completely different. Unfortunately being into poetry doesn’t immediately make a person as likeable as you. He puts up this facade all the time, always pretending to be_ chill _, but he’s not. I can tell he’s not, but he doesn’t express any emotion besides that, and it’s so FRUSTRATING._  
  
 _Anyway, enough about him. Not to freak you out, but I wanted you to know that I think I know who you are…To know this, though, I have to ask:_  
  
 _\- What class do you get your best grades in?_  
 _\- Did you know Kent when he still went to Samwell?_  
 _\- Did you ever play ice hockey?_  
  
 _That’s all the clues I need and then I think I know who you are! Please answer honestly as I’ve virtually put you under oath. I don’t want to freak you out, or out you before you’re ready, I swear, Nurse! I just feel like if I could know who you are, even if we don’t interact in public, I could maybe feel more when I see you. A smile would mean something more…_  
  
 _I don’t know if that makes sense. You’re the one who is good with words._  
  
 _Love, Dex._   
  
  
  
**from: dmnursey@gmail.com**  
 **to: littlebitcloser@gmail.com**  
 **subject: “chill” is not a real emotion**   
  
     _Dex,_  
  
 _I have met someone like that, actually. I’ve recently found out he’s not SO bad, though. You really need to get to know a person. I get that he puts up that wall, but maybe you could find out what he’s really like if you push hard enough? And I happen to think you’re wrong, Sexy Dexy. Liking poetry immediately makes you loveable (I changed likeable to loveable for obvious reasons ((aka. your big, gay crush on me!)))_  
  
 _Interestingly enough, I think I know who you are too. I won’t bother asking you questions, because I’m like almost 100% certain. I’ll answer yours, though, because I know you, Dex. I know you won’t tell anyone — I’m not worried about that. Also because apparently I’m under oath._  
  
 _\- I get my best grades in English (poetry, duh!)_  
 _\- I did know Kent, actually we were sort of friends, I guess?_  
 _\- I did play ice hockey as a kid! I stopped later, though, for reasons even I don’t know…Wish I could do it         again, actually._  
  
 _Maybe when I smile at you this time, you’ll feel more. Let me know if you do._  
  
 _Love, Nursey._  
  
 _(Also that all makes total sense…I feel that way when you smile at me…although your smiles are rare)._   
  


* * *

‘That settles it,’ Will said, plopping down next to Bitty in Home Ec. Bitty was researching to see if Spain had any particular pies he could make for his assignment since he had gotten Spain, and pretty much ignored Will’s existence. Rolling his eyes, he added, ‘Bitty, I know who Nursey is.’   
  
    ‘Oh, really?’ Bitty grinned, putting down his iPad and turning to Will in excitement. ‘Who is he?’   
  
    ‘I can’t tell you,’ Will said apologetically. ‘He still doesn’t want people knowing who he is, but I think I’m going to confront him after school about it.’   
  
    Bitty took Will’s hand, smiling as he patted it like Will was his grandson. ‘I’m so proud of you, Will. You’re so brave and awesome.’   
  
    Will blushed, sure it was super visible on his face, probably drowning his freckles in red. ‘Thanks, Bits.’   
  


* * *

  
Will knew that after school Carl usually hung out under the bleachers for the later bus. He had a class that ran late that day, and the first bus was already gone. Will felt like a stalker trying to find that out, but now he knew, and he could talk to _Nursey_ without anyone knowing.   
  
    As he approached him, he could see Carl’s legs wandering around under the bleachers and his heartbeat quickened. Taking a breath, he ducked under the bleachers to join Carl. Carl was on his phone, messing around, and Will cleared his throat to be noticed. Carl looked up in surprise and then smiled, making Will’s heart start freaking the fuck out.   
  
    ‘Heard I could find you under here,’ Will said awkwardly.   
  
    ‘Yeah, late class…’ Carl smiled a little awkwardly, too.   
  
    ‘How was it?’ Will asked, coming to lean next to Carl. He had no idea what else to say, so he just decided making small talk would be a good start.   
  
    Carl shrugged. ‘Alright. Jason’s in that class — so he talks non-stop, which is annoying. Like, the dude annoys the _hell_ outta me, but he’s really nice, so it’s hard to hate him. I kinda feel guilty for it, ya get me?’   
  
    Will’s smile spread as he remembered the emails between he and Nursey last night. ‘Yeah…I do.’   
  
    Carl smiled back, but there was an edge to it. ‘So…why’d you want to find me?’   
  
    ‘I just wanted to let you know that I do feel more…now…that I know,’ Will said.   
  
    And, he couldn’t help himself, he leant in and pressed his lips to Carl’s. It was great…for about a split second, before he got shoved away so roughly that he fell onto his back into the gravel. Dust unsettled, flying up around them as Carl scrambled to his feet, towering over Will angrily.   
  
    ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Poindexter?’ Carl sneered. ‘I’m not some fuckin’ fairy.’   
  
    ‘But…’ Will frowned. ‘But I know…it’s you.’   
  
    ‘What’s me?’ Carl snapped, vein furiously popping out in his neck. ‘What the fuck are you talking about?!’   
  
    ‘Nursey—’ Will began, thinking that maybe he was just scared. Maybe he was mad Will approached him when he said he wouldn’t, maybe he was wrong and didn’t know Will was Dex.   
  
    ‘What, because my mom’s the fuckin’ nurse, you think I’m some kinda _fag_?’ Carl growled, spitting on the ground and just missing Will. ‘Fuck you, man. By morning, everyone’s gonna know your dirty little secret.’ He shook his head, disgusted. ‘Fuckin’ faggot.’   
  
    As he stormed away, Will felt his head begin to swim. No one could know, he had to do something. He had to make sure Carl didn’t tell anyone, for Nursey and for himself. He found he could only blink as he watched Carl storm away. His legs seemed to have turned to jelly. His breathing started to speed up, and he knew a panic attack was coming. He took a few gulping breaths, managing to stem it off enough to shakily type out an email.   
  
   **from: littlebitcloser@gmail.com**  
 **to: dmnursey@gmail.com**  
 **subject: <no subject>**   
  
  _Nursey, I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked it all up._  
  
 _I need you._  
  
 _Please — don’t leave me when everyone finds out._  
  
 _I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winter carnival is tonight, and I have an idea. If you love me back, or at least are close to it, please meet me at the ferris wheel. I promise it won’t be a huge spectacle; I won’t tell anyone else.
> 
> I don’t need everyone to know, Nurse. I just need you.
> 
> I’m getting there at 6, and I’m hoping I’ll see you there. For what it’s worth, I’ll stay by the ticket stand until nine — when the carnival closes.
> 
> Love…Will.

Derek stared down at his phone with wide eyes. He had no idea what was wrong with Dex, or where Dex was. He knew Dex needed him, but he had no idea what to do about it. He wanted to help him, but he also didn’t know if he could stand the look on Dex’s face when he found out he was Nursey — the boy who annoyed him with poetry and his “chill” demeanour. Instead, he sent C a text.   
  
  **Derek**   
     _C, call Will. I have a weird feeling he needs someone rn._   
  
**Chris**   
     _Why don’t you just call him yourself,_ Nursey?   
  
  **Derek**   
   _Chris, please. He needs you. Please CALL HIM._   
  
     **Chris**   
   _Fine, but only because he’s my best friend too._   
  
    Derek waited about ten minutes, jittery and scared the whole time. What the hell could have happened? Why would he think that Derek would leave him? Finally, he got a text from Chris.   
  
   **Chris**   
     _It’s bad, D. It’s real bad._   
  


* * *

  
Derek was probably going to _murder_ Carl. If not for the stupid, petty jealousy inside him that he got to kiss Dex, mainly also what he’s done to him since then. The next morning, it was all over _samwellsecrets_. Will wouldn’t tell anyone who had posted it, even though Shitty and Lardo had vowed to avenge him. Carl just sneered at Will anytime he walked past.   
  
    Derek had no idea what to do from here. He knew Will wouldn’t like to find out that he was Nursey, but Will was constantly sending emails, pleading for Nursey not to dump him and leave him alone in his time of need. Derek wanted to respond that he’d never leave Will, and respond to his confession of love, because, _God_ , did he feel the same way. Something was holding him back, though. Not that he knew what it was, but it was something.   
  
    After that first day, in which not many people harassed Will, but a lot of people stared and whispered and it was hell for all of them, Will sent him an email. He immediately opened it, fingers shaking and heart thudding harshly in his chest.   
      
   **from: littlebitcloser@gmail.com**  
 **to: dmnursey@gmail.com**  
 **subject: ur an asshole, but i love u anyway**   
  
   _Nursey,_  
  
 _I feel like I really should be pissed the fuck off that you’ve totally abandoned me. I guess I understand, though. It’s a lot, being outed, so I understand why you wouldn’t want to be. I just don’t get why you won’t message me back, Nurse._  
  
 _If it’s because I’ve said that I love you, I’m sorry. I mean — I’m not really sorry, and you definitely should’ve seen this coming, but still. The winter carnival is tonight, and I have an idea. If you love me back, or at least are close to it, please meet me at the ferris wheel. I promise it won’t be a huge spectacle; I won’t tell anyone else._  
  
 _I don’t need everyone to know, Nurse. I just need you._  
  
 _I’m getting there at 6, and I’m hoping I’ll see you there. For what it’s worth, I’ll stay by the ticket stand until nine — when the carnival closes._  
  
 _Love…Will._  
  
 _(P.S. I feel like there’s no point hiding it anymore since you obviously know who I am)._  
  
 _(P.P.S. No pressure, but if you don’t show up, I’m probably officially Giving Up because I can’t do this this way anymore)._   
  
  
    If it were any other situation, Derek would call that emotional blackmail, but, honestly, he understood Will’s reasoning. It was only fair he wanted more by now, and if Nursey couldn’t give that to him, he would move on. Looking over at the clock, he saw it was five. He had an hour to get ready if he was going to meet Will.   
  
    Was he, though? That was the real problem.   
  
    He had no idea.   
  


* * *

‘What the _fuck_ are you still doing at home, you utter _idiot_?!’ Chris pretty much shouted into the phone. It was one of the only times he’s heard him swear, so he knew he was seriously pissed off. ‘Will puts his heart out there, and now he’s all alone at the ferris wheel?’   
  
    ‘C, he doesn’t know it’s me! He won’t be happy to find it out, either,’ Derek huffed. ‘He’s better off without me.’   
  
    ‘If I have to smack you boys with a stick for you to finally stop being blind morons, I will!’ a new voice yelled through the phone.   
  
    Derek frowned. ‘Bits?’   
  
    ‘Christopher updated me on what was going on as I updated him on what was happening with Will, and you are so stupid, Derek. You need to go to him right this minute! Y’all are _in love_ ,’ Bitty sighed. ‘And now he’s sitting at the ferris wheel, texting me about how depressed he is that you’ve given up on you guys.’   
  
    ‘But when he finds out it’s me, he—’   
  
    ‘Oh, shut up,’ yet _another voice_ said through the phone. Shitty, this time. ‘You guys pretty much flirt already, even if it is angry flirting. Plus, he told me the other day that he thinks you’re hot. It was begrudgingly, but he still thinks you’re attractive. Not that looks are your value, Derek.’   
  
    ‘So what if he thinks I’m hot?’ Derek blushed a little even as he said it. ‘Doesn’t mean he wants _me_.’   
  
    ‘He wants any Nursey he can get,’ Chris said. ‘He needs you right now.’   
  
    ‘But—’   
  
    ‘He. Needs. You,’ Bitty repeated sternly. ‘Now hang up and go to him, you silly boy.’   
  
    Derek looked up at the clock, seeing he only had half an hour before Will was going to give up and they were done forever. Hanging up while Shitty started a monologue about something, he squeezed into his jeans, ran a hand through his curls to try and neaten them at all, and rushed out of the house.   
  
    It’s time.   
  


* * *

By the time he sprinted into the carnival, he saw Will about to get on the ferris wheel. He handed two tickets to the operator, and Derek was close enough to hear him tell him to throw the extra ticket away. Pushing his legs even harder, Derek skidded to a stop at the chair, almost falling right over it, but managing to steady himself.   
  
    ‘Hold on just a second, there,’ Derek said to the operator. ‘I’ll take that extra ticket.’   
  
    Will frowned up at him. ‘Derek, why are you—?’   
  
    ‘Just let me,’ Derek said, eyes pleading.   
  
    Will sighed, nodding, and the operator took off the bar to hold them in place and let Derek hop in. Once he shut it behind them, and they lifted off, Will had gone quiet. Derek had no idea if he knew that he was Nursey or if he thought that Derek had just pitied him and now he was quietly hating him, but he had to do something.   
  
    ‘You know, when I said I felt like a ferris wheel,’ Derek began, breath catching at how high they were going. He ignored Will as he turned to him with wide eyes. ‘I was just being poetic…Ferris wheels actually scare the crap outta me.’   
  
    Will snorted a little, a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth. ‘Of course. You know, this is the least chill I’ve ever seen you.’   
  
    ‘Sounds about right,’ Derek laughed a little awkwardly, panic creeping in as they got higher.   
  
    ‘Are you okay?’ Will asked, sounding concerned and making Derek’s heart flutter.   
  
    Derek nodded, grabbing desperately for Will’s hand as the ferris wheel abruptly stopped. ‘What the fuck happened? Is it supposed to do that? Fuck.’   
  
    ‘It’s supposed to do that,’ Will said soothingly, stroking his thumb across the back of Derek’s hand. ‘It’s okay, Nurse.’   
  
    Derek let out a deep exhale, knowing that now the truth was out. He nervously looked up at Will, not ready to see the rejection there. Only, when he looked up, all he saw was warmth. ‘We’re at the top.’   
  
    Will laughed at his lack of ability to use words at the moment. He didn’t look away, but nodded. ‘Feels like we are. And I know we’re gonna go back down again at some point…but can we enjoy it while we’re up here?’   
  
    Derek smiled slightly, feeling the anxiety seeping out. ‘Why, Poindexter, that almost sounded like poetry.’   
  
    ‘Oh, shut the hell up and kiss me already,’ Will huffed, grabbing him by his collar and pulling him in.   
  
    It was unlike anything else in the world.   
  
    Will was right — eventually, they’d have to come back down. They would have to talk about everything — about why Derek didn’t try and talk to Will when he knew it was him, how “Nursey” was actually from Derek’s mother’s maiden name: Nurse, and why Derek was late for meeting him that night. They would also have to face all of their friends, and figure out what they wanted to do themselves. What they wanted to call themselves, whether they want to come out to their families as well — all that difficult stuff. So maybe, just maybe, this was their moment to not consider any of that. It was their turn for a good love story, even if it had ups and downs like everyone else’s.   
  
    But, Derek supposed, maybe, just for tonight, they could stay at the top for a while.   
  
    For now, they could simply enjoy the view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also pretty much Dex thought that dmnursey@gmail.com was "Direct Message Nursey" not "Derek Malik Nursey". 
> 
> Hoped you enjoyed this short AU! 
> 
> Tumblr: cantfuckinbelievethis

**Author's Note:**

> I have a headcanon that Tegan and Sara are actually Dex's guilty pleasure.


End file.
